• Éadaoin Fitzmaurice

Losing My State Of Flow

I'm probably the last person in the country to hop on the podcast bandwagon, mainly because I had dipped in and out over that last while but nothing seemed to excite me, entice me or have me pining for more.

A few weeks back I was travelling up and down to Belfast in 24 hours and the thought of listening to the exact same radio chart tunes on the way up and back made me feel ill.

This was it. There was no better opportunity to give it one. more. go.

I had heard a lot about the Blindboy podcast but I had strayed away from it, thinking it would be a little too complicated for me, but this time I said I'd give it a bash. I switched on the ignition, connected my phone to my car, drove and listened.

How had I been so late to the party? This was right up my street.

In the very first episode, Blindboy talked about a state of flow, something creatives achieve when they're working on a project. I was very familiar with flow but had no idea such a term existed.

Flow is the drug that every creative person chases.

Blindboy said:

"It's a mental state of opporation where a person performing an activity is fully immersed and has a feeling of fully energised focus, involvement and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence flow is characterised by complete absorption in what one does and a resulting loss in one's sense of space and time".

Working in the creative industry and having my own passion projects on the side, flow is what I strive for when I'm tackling a new feature, article, video or project. I can sometimes feel my hands typing out melodic sentences before I've even had a chance to think about what I'm saying. It's like having a coffee or nicotine buzz except it's happening in your unconscious.

I've sometimes read articles on Lovin Dublin and Lovin.ie a day or two after writing them and I can't remember coming out with some of the stuff I had typed up.

Jesus though, it's a great feeling. Almost as good as having a piss after a long journey, a feed when you're MARVIN, maybe even sex.

Anyway, flow comes to me mostly when I'm diving deeply into a piece of content.

If I'm working on something and flow doesn't happen, it's really shite.

I'll never love a piece of my work as much if it wasn't created during flow. This brings me to the punchline.

Where have I been the last month or so?

I was out of juice.

Flow usually refers to the act of being seriously stuck into a piece of work but I think an element of flow also happens in waves through life.

Sometimes I just feel blocked up.

I can seem to achieve flow in the workplace because I'm literally being paid to sit at the desk from 9-5 every day and features are expected of me. When it comes to my own work however - my passion projects and personal creative works, I can seriously struggle sometimes.

It could all be down to one reason, one niggly thing, but it's like a dam being built on my flow.

Damn that Yurty Aherne fella for blocking up my creativity.

I've had a bad month.

My Facebook was disabled, my laptop broke, I wasn't digging the design of my website and my YouTube videos weren't as good as they could have been. My creative brain seemed to just say "fuck you" whenever I tried to get back into the swing of things.

I wasn't in a general state of flow in my life.

Well, just like any good dam, at some stage the waters get heavy and things begin to stream through once again. All it takes is one idea to release that dopamine and get the buzz going. The ideas to come out of me like machine work and the for the fingers to start typing once again.

I've learnt that you can't force flow. When it's not there, you have to live with it and be patient. It will come back.

An exciting idea flicked that switch in my brain about a week ago and I've been itching to start working on my own projects again. I can't wait to share with you what exactly that is.

For now, I'm letting a general flow of creativity come back into my life so hopefully I'll be shitting out content.


Don't forget to keep an eye on my Insta, Youtube and this website for all the buzz. Also, John and I have released our web series with Bloc TG4 with episodes coming out monthly.

The first two are up, with subtitles of course!

Le grá,

Bandeadd xxxx